Bro 2 Bro / Note 048

Listening

Waiting For Your Turn Isn't Listening

Note 048 of 62 · 205 words · Learn How To Deal With People

I catch myself doing this.

Someone is talking. I should be listening. Instead I'm already building my response. My opinion. My story. The thing I want to say next.

The conversation is still going. The listening left a while ago.

You can be completely present and not there at all. Nodding. Looking at them. Saying the small right words. "Yeah." "I understand."

Inside you're somewhere else. Preparing. Comparing. Waiting.

That isn't listening. That's just waiting for your turn.

Speaking clearly is the easy half. Listening is the hard one.

Hearing means the words reached your ears. Listening means you gave someone enough attention to understand what they actually meant.

Sounds simple. It isn't, because we all want to be understood. So does the person opposite.

Which is why good listeners stand out. They make people feel heard. They ask questions. They don't rush to make every conversation about themselves.

Next time you're talking to someone, try one thing. Listen all the way to the end. Don't interrupt. Don't build your reply early. Don't pull it back to yourself.

You might be surprised how much you hear when you stop waiting to speak.

People rarely remember who talked most. They remember who made them feel understood.

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